Yoga Teacher Training Diaries

I started my journey at Yoga space in April 2020, so we were just figuring out how to navigate around the Covid restrictions. I had looked at many yoga schools for many years deciding when was the right time for me to learn and especially where was going to teach me the most philosophy behind the practice.

I had seen 2-week intensive classes overseas and thought ‘I need more than this’, as my goal was to learn the practice deeply and understand the philosophy, I needed something to help me with my 20-plus year problem of dealing with panic disorder, severe Anxiety, and major depression. I had been trialled on over 38 different medications and though some of them helped I knew I needed to retrain my brain to think differently as it was too hard-wired from thinking a certain way for so long, that a pill was not going to fix years of coping with trauma in unhealthy ways.

So, it was not my intention at the beginning to be a teacher but to make sure I learned yoga deeply and yoga space seemed like the only place that suited those needs after extensive research.

In the time I began the course until now I had so many things come up in my life, some good like a wedding and a promotion but, these also came with great stress as I had to endure more courses and work ridiculous hours, and everybody knows what goes into planning a wedding.

I also had a multitude of health problems pop up that I thought were just too much it must be psychosomatic due to stress. Because of my multitude of health problems and being so fatigued I had an incident where I just managed to pull myself over at work whilst driving a forklift but only seconds before my head fell and I was asleep at the wheel, This was the beginning of a huge journey.

This raised huge concerns for work that I had to take extended sick leave for 6 months but as I had not yet had a full diagnosis I had to be put under mental health as my reasoning for having time off, this is true as my anxiety was rampant from the illness causing insomnia and chronic fatigue simultaneously. So, I found a psychiatrist where I finally found answers as to why all this was happening to me.

Thank goodness for Jean being so understanding every time I stressed about getting my certificate finished in time and going through multiple medical trials, she assured me that learning Yoga should not be stressful and in these hard times is the perfect moment to practice stress coping mechanisms such as meditation, always emphasising this course should be enjoyable, not stressful and being very flexible with changing my dates for certain classes that I could not attend. I could not be more grateful for that understanding and flexibility.

Finally, after MANY trials and many different specialists, I discovered through brain scans that I had indications pointing towards suspected ADHD, which can contribute to emotional dysregulation and sleep dysregulation.

I went under surgery where doctors discovered I had endometriosis throughout my organs and a perforation in my stomach, this was also contributing to chronic fatigue, nausea and my back freezing up constantly.

I was also dealing with debilitating pain caused by a work incident that led to nerve pain down my arm, I spent over a thousand dollars getting specialists to help me until they said, “there is nothing you can do for nerve pain.” To add insult to injury I previously had a work incident where I fractured my lower back and I thought that nagging pain would always be there too.

First I would like to thank yoga as it was the ONLY thing that fixed my nerve pain from RSI, as soon as I began to do regular yoga I felt my arm twitching from nerve sensitivity and within days it started to get better, I have never had it since except when I was in a hospital bed for over a month and could not practice my asanas anymore and my debilitating pain came back proving to me since doing regular practice again, and it disappearing that it works! I have read recent studies confirming others with the same story so that alone was life-changing.

The strength of my body changing also helped me lower my dosage of painkillers from my lower back as well until it was affected by my endometriosis.

After I had my surgery removing my endometriosis from various organs and the uterus I went under watch by my psychiatrist to trial ADHD medication, this was supposed to be a four-day stay in a psychiatric ward that I asked to be in because it was the fastest way to get back to work under the current Extended Sick Leave Policy I was under, after months of no pay I needed a confirmed diagnosis to receive my entitlements. This four-day trial turned into a 5-week stay, not because I needed to be under supervision for psychiatric reasons but because I had excruciating pain and complications from surgery that they could not diagnose me whilst I was having to be so heavily treated for pain and other horrible complications that I won’t go into.

The only thing that got me through being stuck in a hospital bed unable to move for over a month, not seeing trees or grass still in such incredible pain physically and emotionally, was my studies and assignments in yoga. It showed me the strength of the human mind! Thankfully, I was reading many suggested books including the Bhagavad Gita, Paths to God, and The Full Catastrophe which also included doing the MBSR program (Mindful based stress reduction clinic). I cannot stress enough how much this saved me. I meditated every day, learning to turn towards the pain and the unpleasant thoughts I was experiencing due to anger of treatment at work and frustrations of trying to fall pregnant for over a year. I practice forgiveness to others forgiveness to myself, dealing with pain, and calming the mind. Practicing forgiveness, I really loved doing and found helpful.

The self-reflection really helped me connect to what I wanted in life as I had always kept myself so busy that I wouldn’t think so much because it usually made me unhappy when I did, so I would run away from my thoughts.

I achieved exactly what I set out to do from the start where I was finally able to break negative thinking patterns and learn coping strategies which gave me insight into the self I had lost. I began painting again which I loved, and it became clear that my purpose in life was to help others. My NFP experiences definitely showed me my authentic true self as the joy I experienced from them gave me a sense of fulfillment I never found in any other work.

My first NFP was for an aged care home, I thought it would be a nice introduction to public speaking for me as I was very scared of this. It did give me the kick I needed but to be honest, I have a passion for helping the elderly as I watched my grandmother in care for many years and it was always something I wanted to do but this place, in particular, didn’t always have time for me so it didn’t go completely to plan, though I loved it when I was there. Since then, I have been offered paid work at an aged care home through word of mouth, so this has given me great joy.

My second NFP was for Fiona Stanley’s mothers and baby unit mental health ward. I wanted to do this one, especially because through my own experiences I felt I could connect with the women, and gosh I was right! Every time I managed to make it there though I was going through medical problems I had to change days here and there, I did not want to stop. It gave me such fulfillment every time getting to know the ladies there and they always said that they felt better afterward. I would drive 45 minutes home every time grinning from ear to ear because I was helping people!

My third and final NFP was through a primary school teaching 8-year-olds specifically picked out by the teachers who needed to learn yoga the most. I became so attached to these kids, I will be forever grateful for the time I had with them, and the feedback was amazing! Kids would tell me “You are the coolest teacher I’ve ever had” which felt amazing to hear. Parents started to contact me because their kids wanted to learn more yoga, so while I was recovering, I kept volunteering past my required 8 weeks as there were some kids I felt needed it and I didn’t want to let them down. Now I have been asked to put together an after-school program for them to attend and it’s a paid job! I could not be happier; I honestly would have done it for free I loved it so much.

This whole learning experience through Yoga Space/ Wisdom Yoga institute has made me feel like I am making a difference in the world. I love that I varied my classes so much for my three NFPs as it gave me the confidence to teach anything and have come a long way from the terrified public speaker I started as. The school Wisdom Yoga Institute/ Yoga Space also is a rippling effect of positivity all over Perth/WA if I helped this many people in my experience alone the school must be responsible for immense generosity and increased happiness everywhere and it felt beautiful to be a part of that positivity throughout the community.

I can tell you at the beginning I just wanted to learn it deeply for myself, but now knowing the power of it after my struggles and how it got me through it. Learning about philosophy and staying true to the origins of yoga, deeply learning the 8 limbs, and the massive shift in my physical and mental health with the clarity of knowing my purpose in life was to help people; I can honestly say I got more out of the course than I expected, not only have I felt peace and happiness but I found my authentic self in the process after years of feeling lost.

Finally, I want to finish with the best news imaginable, after 3 surgeries and my diagnosis I fell pregnant immediately and am expecting a baby girl on the 3^rd of July. I am not a religious person, I am open to learning about all religions and philosophies of life, taking positive things from all but, I can’t help but feel my journey was serendipitous. I am glad I went through all the bad because I would not have ended on the biggest high of all. Knowing what I have learned through my time at Yoga Space will make me a better person and a better mum, and the friends you make along the way are on the same kind, giving, and eye-opening journey as you so it is a beautiful community to become a part of.

Forever Grateful, 

Jenna Vitale