Real Change Isn’t About Catharsis

Life is at times difficult.

There is no way to put positive vibes into the universe in order to avoid all harm.

I don’t believe everything happens for a reason. Don’t try tell me this happened for a reason. Yes there are lessons to be learnt, but you didn’t invite difficult experiences into your life.

Being human means we will at times experience anxiety, stress, grief, trauma, and overwhelm.

And often we will go to great lengths not to feel our feelings. Addressing our avoidance (in a skilful way) helps alleviate symptoms of stress, anxiety, trauma, pain, and overwhelm.

For many peopl,e there is a point in life - I notice it’s peri menopause for many women, a different relationship to our inner world is desired.

There is a positive impetus to be with and examine all that remains unaddressed in our lives.

So what happens next? Well, people search for solutions and support. What they find is a wellness community and culture fixated on quick solutions to challenges that run deep, with many people who are working outside of their scope of practice.

Often this leads to things like:

• Three-hour-long breathwork sessions
• Psychedelic group experiences.
• Somatic retreats to process and “release” trauma

What happens next?

Often a really big experience.

Because that is what some workshop and event leaders are looking for, to give people a BIG experience.

It’s cathartic, it’s raw, everyone is vulnerable. In a certain way, it is beautiful.

But is it safe? Does it work? Do the presenters have the qualifications or appropriate safeguards in place for this type of work? Not always.

I notice this often goes two ways:

1. It might be the opening of a ‘Pandora’s Box’, and people sometimes struggle to get the lid back on. Everything feels destabilising and overwhelming. Call it Kundalini awaking or trauma flooding. But either way, I’ve seen people develop panic attacks, others who have had trauma flooding, and have been unable to work and take care of their families.
2. More commonly, nothing changes. The catharsis didn’t change how people feel at work, at home, about themselves, or their relationships. Then begins the endless cycle of seeking ‘big’ experiences, which functions as its own sort of avoidance!

What’s the issue in both of these scenarios? Well, there are many issues - but one that stands out is a lack of integration.

Real change doesn’t come about from intense experiences. Yes, they have their place (sometimes). But too often the dangers and inefficacy outweigh the risk or cost.

We have a lifetime of relational patterns that aren’t undone by a few big experiences. Working with symptoms of stress, anxiety, trauma, or pain takes time. That can be hard to hear when you are really struggling.

An unhurried approach, which we commit to, is essential. Small but daily habits reshape how we relate to ourselves and others. Additionally, the types of practices we engage in need not be forceful.

This month, we are exploring “pendulation” in meditation as a technique that promotes working within your own “window of tolerance.” Book here for the online intro session on Wednesday night.

For others reading this, we know you need a plan and you need it yesterday! So we designed our 21 Mind Body Reset to honour that impetus to do something different, and do it NOW. While at the same time providing you with four months of access to ensure the learnings become integrated and embodied.

About the 21 Day Mind Body Reset

Wherever you are on your path, just know that every small step can help you rebuild and nourish your visions for your life. Small, steady changes with time for integration are essential.

We can then look back at the path we have travelled and all the pieces of the puzzle come together. We make sense of our story. And that doesn’t happen over a weekend.

Yours in Yoga,
Jean